Tag Archive | GOD

Working on goals for 20 18

Good Afternoon beautiful people! There comes a time when something happens that makes you stop and start looking at other options for your life. For me my career has caused me to start developing a business plan for opening up my own restaurant.

One of my concerns that is causing me hesitate is working around food constantly all day. I am scared that this could cause me to overeat and possibly start gaining weight. However it may help me to develop better control and refrain from eating unhealthy foods. Nevertheless this had always been a life long goal of mine and I am eagerly looking forward to opening Tracy tasty treats. Lol! I know I am going have to work on that name.

Since we are mentioning goals. Exercise is one of the most important part of any weight loss plan. I don’t care if you had weight loss surgery or not. You still got to get physical and stay physical to achieve and reach your weight loss goal for the rest of your life.

Nevertheless I started back attending the YMCA and went with my 18 years old teenage son. Big mistake this boy/man pushed and motivated me like nobody has ever did. My big butt is sore in places I didn’t know you could be sore. My thighs, all over my arms, right up above my wrist and between my elbow. I mean I did my cardio and then hit the weights to work on my lower body that day. But I didn’t think I over did it. However I had to skip Thursday to recoup.

Note to self again: don’t let your Son guide you when you are exercising at the YMCA. I had to add a picture I took while getting my sweat on at YMCA.

Don’t hate the picture hate the game. Lmbo!

Peace, Love and Happiness Beautiful people. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I get my business plan together and apply for small business loans.

Be blessed Tracy

After surgery

imageI can’t really remember what happen during surgery because I was asleep.  But nevertheless I made it to the  hospital on time with my husband and two kids.  They took me back exactly at 6:30.  I undressed and talk with my husband who told me  ” once I lost the weight he was going to lock me in the house.” I also had my hair dreaded because I am just tired of messing with it all the time…..being natural is really high maintenance.  It is really short and thin it will have to grow on me.

I do remember them rolling me out of the room and both of my kids were there and they kissed me goodbye.

What I do remember from the hospital was waking up in extenuating pain….I felt like someone had ripped my stomach apart.  I kept trying to wake up to talk to my kids and husband but my eyes would not go in the right directions.  What little I was able to focus on let me know my kids were scared as hell.  I could tell by their faces that they were really worried about mom.  I slept off and on that whole day until later in the evening. When I finally got up and tried to walk some of the gas down.
incentive-spirometer-300x300They also had me to breathe in a incentive-spirometer  every hour 10 times.  This little thing measure my breathing to help prevent pneumonia.  I also seem to be coughing up a lot phlegm.
My pastor called and checked on my well being and made the ride to see me the next day.  He prayed a prayer of healing the next day.  My mom and a couple aunts and other kin folks all joined hands while he prayed.

I walked a a total of 10 laps around the hospital begging for one gas release.  You have to passed gas no matter what.  You can hear the gas in your body creating tornadoes  and hailstorms and you can not do anything to get it out.  I was finally given a suppository the next morning which helped my push some bile out and I was scheduled to go home around 4:00 that day. Later that night I started passing massive amount of gas.  You would have thought I hit the lottery the way I was cheering.  I will follow up with other information in another post.

Love, Peace and Happiness,

Hiding your trouble spots

All 11st.jpg


People have really surprised me lately, especially in my weight loss groups for the surgery.  Since I have sort of crossed over everybody has been very talkative and asking questions about what they will have to do once they reach this stage in the process.  Majority of the people are amaze that I weigh  over 300 pounds.  When I state my BMI is 55 they can not believe it.   But what people tend to forget is that I am technically very close to the ground. In order words I am short, 5`4 to be exact. People claim that I carry my weight really well. I have to explain that I don’t wear it well….I hide it really well.

One thing I do know is my problem areas. My stomach, my arms or bat wings as I called them, my thighs, wide butt and back. I make sure I purchased shirts that do not emphasized problem areas.  Because I have been ask if I was pregnancy because of Shelly the belly.  Pants are also purchased not to large on my frame but loose to help with spreading once I sit down.  I rarely wear dresses out because of my big legs. 

To each his own….but one thing I hate doing is showing my muffin top or wearing  shirts that are to tight that make me resemblance the Michelin man.  People are real quick to holler “girl be proud of your body” and I always end up giving them side eye.   It is alright to be proud of your body but….don’t walk out the house looking tore up.  Don’t get me wrong, I am really down for being you but we have to have some decency about our selves.

 However here is the thing….I can wear a size 24 in pants weighing 322 and someone else could be the same weight and wear a size 30 in pants.  It is all about how your body is shaped. We are not identical just because we weigh the same.

I am now in my first week of the 4 week required Optifast diet and man it is really hard.  I tell you what …..if I don’t lose weight on this sucker…I am going to flip out.  I am currently drinking 4 different flavors ready to drink supplements….. strawberry, chocolate, vanilla.  The flavor taste good and the soup are also good if you can believe that even though they are powder.  I really savor my one low- fat high protein meal.   Pray for me because I have three more weeks to go.


Love, peace and Happiness

Ms. Tracy

My journey, my life, my decisions


Well I got my letter in the mail about my approval for my surgery and was really excited.  Because this confirms I am having my surgery.  As you all know the surgery scheduler called me about the approval so I already knew.

My next step is to see the nutritionist  about starting the Optifast diet this Friday for four weeks.  I will start the diet this Saturday minus two hundred dollars in my pocket.  I am so really to get the ball moving.  The Optifast is suppose to help shrink your liver before the surgery,  because a enlarge liver can cause problem reaching your stomach during the surgery.  I have previously been diagnosed with fatty liver so this does  worry me some.

I will be allowed five Optifast 800 supplements and one food meal a day.  It will consist of protein such as chicken breast,  1 egg, fish, lean ham, turkey breast.  Vegetables non starchy, fruit such as Apple, oranges, kiwi, peaches, etc. Unlimited sugar free jello, sugar free popsicles, picked, cucumbers.  APPROXIMATELY 1200 calories per day. Woo!!! I will really savor that one meal.

It seems that when you get to this point everybody starts trying to give you advice.  For instance two ladies made sure they mention…. so and so died from that surgery. I mean really!! The last thing anybody wants to hear is the word death especially when you are getting ready to have the surgery.

Nevertheless as I have said on numerous occasion.  This is my journey!! As long as I trust and believe in my Lord and Savior, I know everything is going be alright.

Love, Peace and Happiness
Ms. Tracy

I have been approved and scheduled

stock-photo-insurance-coverage-approved-148181882I am excited, overjoyed, overwhelmed, happy and ready.  I got my called this evening that I have been APPROVED for surgery and my surgery date is July 15th!! 🙂
There will be a required 4 week diet among several other things.  I will follow up with before pictures and the rest of the process sometime this week.

Love, Peace and Blessings
Mrs. Tracy

Self-esteem and weight



It is so hard waiting to see if you’re going to be approved for surgery.  I mean really, I didn’t want to call the surgery scheduler and bug the crap out of her. But when you have gone through this process this long your patience wears thin.  Yesterday at the group meeting we discuss self-esteem.  On many occasions I have talked about my lack of self-esteem.  There have been things that happen to me in my past that  have caused me to questioned my self-worth.

My father passed away when I was only 9 years old.  This seems to really have taken a toll on my self-esteem. I can remember kids picking at my sisters and I because our Dad passed away.  Bullying was out of controlled back then in the 80’s and kids were really mean. Then there was this  thing with the light skin versus dark skin girls, good hair versus nappy hair.  You can guess who side I was on.

Even though I only weighed around 160 or less I thought I was fat. It has taken years to build my self-esteem up this much. Oh how I wished I could go back in time and whisper in my ear that “girl you are bad and stop worrying about your weight.”

I feel that surgery will greatly improved my whole outlook on myself and help with these poor self-esteem issues.

Peace, love and Happiness!
Mrs. Tracy

Open, wounded and recovering


Sometimes in life we all encounter obstacles that will set us back or knock us down.  Last Saturday, I lost my last aunt on my father’s side she was only 54 years old.  One reason this death hurt so much is because we had recently lost her older sister in September of 2013.  When you are dealing with something so painful it is really hard to keep up healthy eating.   Because you are  in pain and really in your feelings…. the last thing you are thinking about is counting calories.  I can admit that I did get off of track.  Right now I have gotten back on track and focusing on dealing with their absences.

During this trying time all I could think about is ….what I could have done different and how I wished I had spent more time with each one of them. Death leaves you open and wounded as if someone have removed a piece of your heart and it is forever gone.  My hardest task is helping my children to understand and learn how to cope with death.   I suggested that they dig deep and prepare themselves because this will not be the last one and I encouraged them to pray and ask GOD for guidance during this time.

I have one uncle left and I hate to admit it but we are not really close.   He really took it hard and is also having a hard time coping.  My sisters, cousins and I are currently reaching out to him and trying to bring everyone closing.  If we are successful we don’t really know but we will do our best and try.

Love, Peace and Hope

Mrs. Tracy

Stay focus, stay on task and just keep going.

I have lost 6 pounds since my last visit to see my nutritionist 2 weeks ago.  I have stretched and picked and pulled every piece of skin I have trying to find where the pounds came off.  Because I can’t tell where the weight loss occurred and it irritated the heck out of me.  It would be awesome if you could pin point where the fat loss is located. You know….. just be able to look at your stomach and say “Oh my, I lost 6 pounds in my stomach area.”  Well girl can dream right. lol

Nevertheless I am really happy with my weight loss, especially 6 pounds.  I know sometimes I will not lose weight and this is when I have to keep going.  I know I have come too far to just give up. I remember just last year around this time before my husband changed jobs.   I was practicing a healthy lifestyle, I was  eating healthy and exercising trying to lose weight.  Weight loss surgery was not even a possibility.  Then my hubby changed jobs in September and the first thing I checked out was weight loss surgery and because it was allowed, I got excited.  Especially since I had recently meet with my orthopedic and he had informed me that I was going to have to have a hip replacement but first I had to lose weight. If I didn’t lose weight they would not be able to do anything until I broke the bad boy and then and only then would they do the surgery.  Then he gave the bad news, if they did have to do the surgery because I broke my hip, my weight could cause all kind of complications during surgery.

See here my understanding; I have tried many things to get this weight only to fall short every time.  The motivation was there and I would start good then somewhere along the way I would fall off.  I have to give credit to the good man above, to my Lord and Savior.  He is the only one who has supplied everything I ever needed.  He has opened so many doors and closed some that was of no use to me.   Because of his guidance I am finally on the right track to get my health on track. My pending weight loss surgery is only because GOD opened that door for my husband and now he is on a job that he is finally satisfied with that has good benefits and pay.

See when we don’t see a way out…..we have to remember to be patience and wait on the Good Lord Above and he will make a way out of no way.  It will not be easy and there are things that you have to change to be successful with your weight loss.  But you can do it.  Just have a talk with him about your path and he will guide your steps. According to Isaiah 64:4, “He acts in behalf of the one who waits for Him.” Although it may seem that He’s forgotten you, if you keep trusting and waiting, He will take care of you.

Love, Peace and Happiness

Mrs. Tracy