I am excited, overjoyed, overwhelmed, happy and ready. I got my called this evening that I have been APPROVED for surgery and my surgery date is July 15th!! 🙂
There will be a required 4 week diet among several other things. I will follow up with before pictures and the rest of the process sometime this week.
It is so hard waiting to see if you’re going to be approved for surgery. I mean really, I didn’t want to call the surgery scheduler and bug the crap out of her. But when you have gone through this process this long your patience wears thin. Yesterday at the group meeting we discuss self-esteem. On many occasions I have talked about my lack of self-esteem. There have been things that happen to me in my past that have caused me to questioned my self-worth.
My father passed away when I was only 9 years old. This seems to really have taken a toll on my self-esteem. I can remember kids picking at my sisters and I because our Dad passed away. Bullying was out of controlled back then in the 80’s and kids were really mean. Then there was this thing with the light skin versus dark skin girls, good hair versus nappy hair. You can guess who side I was on.
Even though I only weighed around 160 or less I thought I was fat. It has taken years to build my self-esteem up this much. Oh how I wished I could go back in time and whisper in my ear that “girl you are bad and stop worrying about your weight.”
I feel that surgery will greatly improved my whole outlook on myself and help with these poor self-esteem issues.
I have to get myself on track again. I slipped up and fell face first in a cheeseburger plate last week. I just happen be walking and all of sudden I slipped and fell on a cheeseburger plate. When I push myself up the burger was in my mouth. LOL..if I can’t laugh at my mistakes something is really wrong. I also did something really stupid Wednesday…. I ate a piece of seven favor pound cake, and two pieces of brownies and, and, (I know what else did this heifer eat) ice cream. As soon as I finished eating I got a huge sugar rush and it was over and done. I have never felt so bad in my life. I have been sugar-free for at least three months. I started sweating and feeling all dizzy like. I couldn’t figure out what was going on, until I remember those succulent brownies covered in ice cream and the seven favor pound cake. I will not venture down that road anytime soon for a long time. I realize that SUGAR is not my friend.
I am paying for a gym membership that I have only use a few times in the last couple of months. I made a goal that I would attend the gym at least three times a week. But of course I have not followed through with that goal. I can say this much my daughter and son is using the membership. I am trying to figure out when I can go……but I feel so bad. I just feel so tired all the time and all I want to do is sleep. I am taking a vitamin and hopefully that will help with the tiredness. I am also going to start taking a B12 to try and boost my energy.
Update for progress on weight loss surgery. I met with my doctor this week and he explained what my next steps will be after the endoscopy pertaining that everything goes well with the procedure next Friday. I will meet with the nurse and she will send for approval from my insurance. If I all goes well I am hoping that I will be able to have the surgery at the end of March after my two-week liquid diet.
I am so ready for this to be over. I am ready to get on the loser bench and get my health back on track.
I feel like I am at a milestone in my life where I am standing on a cliff that has an elevator that only goes up. I feel like I am reaching for something and my fingertips keep brushing it but it moves just a little further out and I can’t catch it. I feel like I am missing something but I can’t figure out what it is. It could be age…….. because I am in 40s and I feel my age in my bones and daily pains. But after watching this video of 70 years old Sonny I believe that I can reach all my goals that I have set. I wanted to share this with everyone because this is awesome. Hopefully this will let everyone know their dreams can come true with hard work and perseverance, myself included.
Someone ask me a question and I decide to post my thoughts about it.
What if I my insurance don’t pay for my surgery? What if I am denied?
Would I give up and just keep gaining more and more weight. The answer is no. I am doing everything as if I am not having the surgery now. Because I am at the point where I want to have a healthy weight, gaining more weight and letting myself go yet again is not even an option. I hate my weight, I hate the problems that I have from my weight, and I hate this fat that causes so many restrictions. Don’t get me wrong I am not depressed or anything, I am determine and I look forward to getting this weight off. The same way I complete my bachelor and my master degree which were goals. I am going to stay focus on my goal which is losing weight.
One thing I know is that everything doesn’t always work out the way you want it to. Sometime things go astray and you have to always have at least two backup plans. Always keep your eyes on the prize. I am!!