Tag Archive | faith

It’s my birthday!!


Good morning beautiful people!! Today is your girl’s birthday.  I got so much to celebrate because he woke me up one more day to celebrate another year with family and friends.  

You know the closer I get to 50 years old the more I start to revaulation my life.  I am seeking so much more such as peace, stability and love.  I am at the age were I am refusing to accept anything more.  I mean my golden years are only a couple years away.  I want to remain  healthy and live a long meaningful life.  I want to continue to focus on my relationship with GOD and be a better mother, wife and friend.  My family, weight and career always come after that.  

Things don’t always go the way I want it to but I do my best to keep moving forward.   My career is something that I want to grow and I love blogging but have never thought of this as more than hobby.  

I want to continue growing and moving forward in my life and be able to look back see my growth in five years, like I am able to do now.  I love that I accomplished some really great goals such as having my undergrad and graduation degree and I am working as a counselor.  I just want to continue to grow and prosper more.  This is my hope for my birthday today.

Peace, love and happiness beautiful people!!

Birthday girl,

Tracy

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Its a struggle being consistent 

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Good afternoon beautiful people!  I just wanted to blog about trying to lose weight and being at a standstill for a long period.  I really want to drop about 30 pounds and it seems that I am fighting like heck just to lose 5 pounds.  Now let’s be real.  Consistently is a must.  I must be consistent and exercise  on a regular basis.  I must be consistent about eating healthy food.  I must be consistent and get my water intake in.  There are so many more things I got to do better about.  I am very alert and aware of my weight which causes me and my scale to have this love and hate relationship.  I am constantly stepping on him just to see what he say.  (Yes my scale is a he.)  Because only a man can give you various information that’s bad majority of the time.  Lol

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I personally know that I am always looking in the mirror and I see every imperfections and every flaw on my body.  Every woman does this no matter how pretty she is.  There will always be an area that you wants fixed.  For me it is my weight. I want to lose more pounds because I am so scared of going back to fat Tracy.   I sometimes look in the mirror and all I can see is that 340 pound woman.  That vision scares the living hell out of me.   I used this as a guide to ensure that I don’t get back there.

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Nevertheless I always start planning my next day the day before.  I have everything all planned out in my head and never do ALL the things I have planned to do and usually it is the stuff that deals with eating and exercise.  If I did everything that I planned in my head I would weigh around 140 pounds.  I just got to get more consistent period. I know if I could lose a few pounds each week this would motivate me to be more consistent.  But I am just like most people I want thing to be easy and that not the case.  Even though I had the gastric bypass surgery it is still hard to keep this weight off and keep losing. Then here is the kicker when I finally meet my goals…I will start complaining about something else.  However that is not the point right now.  The point right now is being consistent as I keep saying in this post.

Another thing that bother me is when I go out to eat with family members.  I rarely eat more than 1/4 of my food.  However that don’t stop those vultures from watching and waiting for me to finish so they can swallow the rest of my food whole.  I don’t know why I let this upsets me but it does and it causes me to overeat because I know they are going to eat my leftovers.  I am working on this really hard because this type of gluttony can cause overeating which stretch Shelly the belly.  Help me LORD, because this should be my last worry. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I fight this battle that is continuous and never-ending.

I do got news to post about my tests I had this week and a couple of weeks ago.  I will post a blog about my results from the supposedly X-ray of my colon.  Please note I say supposedly….until later guys and gals!

Love, Peace and Happiness

Tracy.

 

 

 

Colonoscopy and Endoscopy preparation after WLS

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Good evening beautiful people.  As you all know I am currently having major issues with my Acid Re-flux.  I am currently taking three medications Famotidine 40 mg, Ranitidine 300 mg, Pantoprazole 40 mg. One in the morning and two at night. I am scheduled for a endoscopy and colonoscopy tomorrow and the preparation is something else.

Man first let me say this…I am hungry , I mean really hungry as I drink this apple juice. Every commercials on TV is showing restaurant ads and they looks so dang good.  I caught myself licking my flat screen TV when they showed a Kristy Kreme commercial featuring their new pumpkin spice glaze donuts. Then they had the nerve to only offer those bad boys for one day. I know, I know I don’t suppose to be eating those bad boys anyway.  But when you are hungry you will imagine yourself eating any and everything and I am starving. As soon as I finish this blog post I am going to bed so I can dream of chicken wings covered in all kinds of sauce.

The preparation for a colonoscopy is awfulllllll.  Let me say that one more time it is dreadful, disgusting, atrocious, ghastly, unpleasant and I could go on with other words that mean the same thing as awful.  But it will all mean the same…… the preparation for the procedure is something else.  Because I have had the gastric bypass I could not do the usual prep and the doctor  recommended that I buy two to three bottle of magnesium citrate, and drink those starting at 12:00 today.  I went to the local Dollar General store and purchase 3 bottles and started drinking the first one.  To say I want to throw up is a understatement.  That crap is disgusting. I was burping and gagging all at the same time.  It was so bad that my supervisor told me to go home.  She was scared I was going to have a accident in the office.  The doctor recommended that I try and drink one every hour until I was done.  Man it took me two hours to get that crap down.  The second one was faster however but the burping was out of the world. I could have burp a song I was burping so much.  I also purchase several bottle of clear liquid to drink such as apple juice, white grape juice and for whatever reason I though I could eat apple sauce. I was wrong and the paperwork confirmed that. The doctor also said that it was important that I not consume anything red or purple because it could look like blood in my intestines when they doing the procedure so V8’s was out of the question which would have made me full.

Fast forward to now.  (Warning this could be a TMI moment)  I went to sleep because I was wanting to eat so badly and woke up to Shelly the Belly and my colon contracting, grunting and moaning like crazy.  I stayed in the bathroom for about 30 minutes emptying my colon and I am still going.   This is crazy, how can one person have this much crap.  If I have to go one more time I will scream.  I know I have flushed away at least 3 pounds.

Nevertheless I am scared, nervous and afraid because I want to know what is causing the excessive acid re-flux and I am nervous about the colonoscopy because of the history of cancer in my family.  I got to quit googling my acid re-flux problems for gastric bypass patients because they give so many different reasons that this could be happening and my mind be in over drive worrying about it. However GOD got me and he always keeps me in the palm of his hands.  I just can’t let my insecurity slide in. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers ladies and gents that the results will be good.

Peace, Love and Happiness

Blessing from Tracy

Magic wand that makes your fat melt away

 

Good afternoon beautiful people!  I have been thinking about this writing this post for a few days and I finally got around to doing it.

I  got to start this blog off by saying this ……Weight loss surgery is not a cure all!  Let me say this one more time for those who are considering having this surgery.  There is no such things as waving a magic wand and all your fat just melt away for eternity. Weight loss surgery is not a cure all!

Now I know you are looking at this post and wondering why I am saying this and I am going to tell you why.  I have had several people who had this surgery and afterwards tell me…. they hate they did it.  They go on complaining about how their stomach hurts when they start trying to eat food that they were told not to eat.  Why is my stomach still big and why can’t I look like you?  Why is the scale not moving?  One friend even told me she hates protein shakes…and can’t stand to drink any.  But then she went on to tell me that her legs gave out on.  Here the thang….yes I said thang….. if you can’t do proteins shakes you better find something else to get those proteins in!  Shoot they have all kinds of other liquids with protein added.  You need that protein for those muscle… As for my friend……You know what I got to say about all of this…. WELCOME TO THE FREAKING CLUB you thought it was going to be easy.  WRONG.

This surgery is a life changing surgery that helps you reach your desired weight goal if you do what your doctor and nutritionist teaches you to do.  Yea, yea, you will lose weight…but I bet you a dollar after the weight has plateau around your 3rd year…that fat will return.  Here is thing …..food is everywhere and you are constantly seeing it and it always knocking at your door saying …”Tracy come and take a bite of this rich thick piece of chocolate brownie…it won’t hurt.”  (blank stare)  Yes, it will because you will go back numerous times just to bite that bad boy!  After surgery, you got to change your daily eating habits for weight loss to happen. Sometimes you even have to separate from friends or family members who tempts you to overeat.  Shoot I found myself on numerous occasions overeating just because I knew my son was watching my plate so he could eat my leftovers.  Oh man, lunch at work was really bad.  When I go out to eat…I can only take a few bites so I am always getting a takeout box to take my remains back to my office and guess what I do.  I nibble on that left over food all day.  Heck I don’t be hungry…I just eat it because it is there.  How I stopped this bad habit, required that I start bringing my lunch to the office. That way I controlled my eating better. If I do go to lunch I put my plate in fridge at the office and don’t get it out until I go home and I make sure it is a healthy meal.

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Please understand I am not being a know it all.  I am just tired of the bull crap about how I took the easy route. Shoot all I did was take a short cut that lead me right back to the main highway and I still got to do what everybody else has to do.  Watch what I eat and exercise to keep the weight off.   If anything this journey is harder because when you over eat it causes pain and everything you have to go through to have the surgery.  Please let’s not forget all of the medicine that you are required to take for the rest of you life.  This is not the easily road…this is the hardest road with so many curve balls it is ridiculous.

Love, Peace and Happiness

Tracy

 

 

You got to love you!

Good morning beautiful people!!! I want to discuss body image.   I know I am not the only one who will walk by something that shows your reflection  and think dang I am still fat.  You will notice your flabby arms, thick thighs and big gut and wonder why everybody keep saying you are melting away.   Because all you see is your former fat self.   Here is the thing that we got to remember is that…. the mind is deceiving YOU!   YOU have lost a significant about of weight.  YOU are making good food choices!  YOU got a lot to be proud of!  Body image can derail any weight loss goal.


However all you got to do is remember this phrase protein first.  I never understood this until later after my surgery how important this phrase was.  Protein first is a phase that everybody who ever had gastric bypass surgery needs to post on their refrigerator. Hang it in your bathroom, hang it from your stove, or it in the cabinet doors… So when you open the door you see it.   Make a bracelet, put it in your car, put it in your office refrigerator.  Shoot  put in on your home screen of your cell phone and lap top.  When you keep seeing this phrase everytime you go to eat anything you can control your eating  habits.  Unless you are over eating and stretching that pouch which will lead to weight gain.

What we have to understand is that protein is a nutrient that helps us feel fuller, longer. If we include proteins in each of our meals or healthy snacks, we’re less likely to feel hungry when it’s not time to eat.

I know you are wondering  what can I do to be effective to ensure that I lose and maintain my weight loss.  In my opinion the number one rule is to eat protein rich foods first. See here is the thing after  surgery, your body will need adequate protein to help build, repair, and maintain muscle tissue and organs. Protein deficiency can occur over an extended period of time which can cause fatigue, hair loss, and muscle wasting.   I remember when I was about three months out after my RNY gastric bypass… My fingernails were so soft and brittle I could barely stratch  myself. Then my big dumb self tried to cover them up with fake nails.  Omg… That hurt so bad it was crazy.   I hurried up and bought Boltin.  Then my hair started falling out also…. Talk about going thru.  That was a really hard period to go thru but I made it thru.  The hair issue was not so bad for me because I love wigs.
Just remember Proteins are one of the essential building blocks of the human body and you need them.

The next time you walk by something that shows your reflection.. Say to yourself.  I look good, and I am doing good therefore I am good! 😊  You got to encourage yourself!! Because you are your biggest motivator.  Love the skin you are in.  Because you could still be that former you.

Peace, Happiness and Love!!

Tracy

Two little wilted round small oranges.

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Good evening beautiful people!

I went to the YMCA today and burned around 500 calories!! I did that and I am patting myself on the back fat because it is disappearing as I type. I be pumping iron and breathing, pumping iron and breathing, pausing to keep from passing out and working on those areas trying to make them disappear.  With that being said I want to discuss a subject that is a little out there.  So hang tight while I gather my words.

Before my weight loss surgery…I had this humongous stomach and my two little …how do I say this without sounding vulgar…my two little melons just lay there like two little wilted round small oranges. Because of my stomach I look like I didn’t even have any boobies.  Man my stomach was so HUGE that my Orthopedic specialist explained to me why my back hurt so much.  I have disk degenerative disease in the lower part of my back because of my weight that I carry for about 20 years.   What I had to understand is that the spine of our body is designed in such a way that it carries the weight of the body and maintains balance and distributes the weight during periods of rest and activity.  Since I was extremely overweight and had a big belly, my spine was forced to carry that extra weight on itself and it was not able to distribute to other parts of the body. This results in my spine being overworked resulting in damage to the spine and causing me to have many sleepless and painful nights. Boy I went through so many mattresses trying to find one that would help me sleep better.  Now remember I also had Sleep Apnea and bad hips that need to be replaced but my insurance would not approve a hip replacement because of my BMI was 55. Because of this I suffers unrelenting back and hip pain.  I was tore up from the floor up.

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Fast forward to now and after losing close to 150 pounds and my tummy shrinking down and it is about flat (However I do have skin that will need to be). My back no longer hurts.  Except when I had my hip replaced last November and that was because I couldn’t do nothing but lay on my back.  Now back to subject at hand.  I got breasties!! I got 38 DD size breasts to be exact! (Shaking my head from side to side as I type that)

Would you believe that I am also blushing as I type this, NOT!! I loveeeeeee my breasts.  I buy bras that emphasize those bad boys!! Whatttt…. you can’t tell me nothing!  Let me tell you how much breasts I got.  I was at work one day and my beautiful blond head friend, name Mica poked me in one of my breasts and said she wanted to know where did they come from. See me and her were the two biggest girls in the office with the smallest breasts!  So she was a little jealous because we have always talked about how we wanted big breasts so our stomach wouldn’t be emphasize so much.  LOL I know right. I love you MICA!!! You are my Ivory and I am your Ebony remember that when you are reading this post!!

This is one of the pro about any weight loss. You gain a figure!! Shoot I have a waist, hips, breasts, butt and I am going to keep those bad boys.  So I will be eating PROTEIN FIRST for the rest of my life and popping vitamins everyday!! I love going to sleep and my back not hurting so bad that I can’t sleep.

Smooches beautiful people!!  Check me out in my Sunday gear from this past Sunday. Boobies was popping!!img_1597

Love, Peace and Happiness!

Tracy

I hate my weight loss scale!

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Good afternoon beautiful people!

I woke up this morning and started getting my son and I ready to attend church for our Pastor’s Anniversary.  We had another pastor speaking for the Anniversary and his church was accompanying.  So that meant we wouldn’t get out regular seats if we didn’t leave early.  With that being said….I don’t care how much I got to do and if I am in a hurry.  I will always make that stop at the weight scale.  Well this morning the scale was at a stand still as it has been for the last two days.  My first thought after stepping on the little sucker three times and the numbers didn’t change was to throw that bad boy out the window.  Don’t that just piss you off.  I know I am not the only person who wants to pick their scale up and threw it up against the wall because we want to see those numbers go down so bad. However, here is the thing I am doing good because I have lost 6 pounds since I corrected my negative behaviors in one week. I also added some good habits that should keep the scale from going up.  I have looked at my body and examine my thighs and arms trying to figure out which area lost the pounds (that where I want to lose weight).  Knowing my stupid body…I probable lost the weight on my dang feet again.  I went from a size twelve extra wide in shoes to a size nine wide in shoes.   That another post for another day.  Nevertheless I can’t tell where the pounds came off….. but I am really happy with the 6 pounds I lost.

I know I lost six pound but I want to examine what a five pound loss look like. The picture below shows a great example of a 5 pound weight loss versus the weight of a brick.  Then the other pictures are showing 5, 10, 15, 20 pounds weight loss.  I have a friend that recently loss twenty pounds and is really tone and looks real good. You can’t tell them anything they are so happy with their results.  Muscles was popping and they was firm and tight all over.  I was so jealous but trust and believe I understand how they feel. I would really be happy with a twenty pound weight loss.

 

Nevertheless don’t ever get upset with just one pound lost because that an awesome start. The whole point is not to give up and not think you are doing good. Because even if it is one pound you are still making progress and one pound is better than plus one!

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Love, Peace and Happiness!!

Tracy