Archives

It’s my birthday!!


Good morning beautiful people!! Today is your girl’s birthday.  I got so much to celebrate because he woke me up one more day to celebrate another year with family and friends.  

You know the closer I get to 50 years old the more I start to revaulation my life.  I am seeking so much more such as peace, stability and love.  I am at the age were I am refusing to accept anything more.  I mean my golden years are only a couple years away.  I want to remain  healthy and live a long meaningful life.  I want to continue to focus on my relationship with GOD and be a better mother, wife and friend.  My family, weight and career always come after that.  

Things don’t always go the way I want it to but I do my best to keep moving forward.   My career is something that I want to grow and I love blogging but have never thought of this as more than hobby.  

I want to continue growing and moving forward in my life and be able to look back see my growth in five years, like I am able to do now.  I love that I accomplished some really great goals such as having my undergrad and graduation degree and I am working as a counselor.  I just want to continue to grow and prosper more.  This is my hope for my birthday today.

Peace, love and happiness beautiful people!!

Birthday girl,

Tracy

Advertisements

Its a struggle being consistent 

constitent

Good afternoon beautiful people!  I just wanted to blog about trying to lose weight and being at a standstill for a long period.  I really want to drop about 30 pounds and it seems that I am fighting like heck just to lose 5 pounds.  Now let’s be real.  Consistently is a must.  I must be consistent and exercise  on a regular basis.  I must be consistent about eating healthy food.  I must be consistent and get my water intake in.  There are so many more things I got to do better about.  I am very alert and aware of my weight which causes me and my scale to have this love and hate relationship.  I am constantly stepping on him just to see what he say.  (Yes my scale is a he.)  Because only a man can give you various information that’s bad majority of the time.  Lol

constitent2

I personally know that I am always looking in the mirror and I see every imperfections and every flaw on my body.  Every woman does this no matter how pretty she is.  There will always be an area that you wants fixed.  For me it is my weight. I want to lose more pounds because I am so scared of going back to fat Tracy.   I sometimes look in the mirror and all I can see is that 340 pound woman.  That vision scares the living hell out of me.   I used this as a guide to ensure that I don’t get back there.

Fallplace

Nevertheless I always start planning my next day the day before.  I have everything all planned out in my head and never do ALL the things I have planned to do and usually it is the stuff that deals with eating and exercise.  If I did everything that I planned in my head I would weigh around 140 pounds.  I just got to get more consistent period. I know if I could lose a few pounds each week this would motivate me to be more consistent.  But I am just like most people I want thing to be easy and that not the case.  Even though I had the gastric bypass surgery it is still hard to keep this weight off and keep losing. Then here is the kicker when I finally meet my goals…I will start complaining about something else.  However that is not the point right now.  The point right now is being consistent as I keep saying in this post.

Another thing that bother me is when I go out to eat with family members.  I rarely eat more than 1/4 of my food.  However that don’t stop those vultures from watching and waiting for me to finish so they can swallow the rest of my food whole.  I don’t know why I let this upsets me but it does and it causes me to overeat because I know they are going to eat my leftovers.  I am working on this really hard because this type of gluttony can cause overeating which stretch Shelly the belly.  Help me LORD, because this should be my last worry. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I fight this battle that is continuous and never-ending.

I do got news to post about my tests I had this week and a couple of weeks ago.  I will post a blog about my results from the supposedly X-ray of my colon.  Please note I say supposedly….until later guys and gals!

Love, Peace and Happiness

Tracy.

 

 

 

Just taking it one day at a time

mental

Good morning beautiful people!  I know I have fell off on my blogging but I am going through a really rough time right now mentally.  I am just taking it one day at a time and anything extra just takes a lot out of me..  However even though I am struggling mentally.  My weight always stays at the forefront of my mind.  I refuse to let this mental stuff make me gain weight.  I am focusing on my weight more than anything and I am trying to maintain and make sure I am keeping those pounds away.  I am still walking and I am in the process of adding more miles.

Now I could never really air what is going on in my personal life but it really life changing and it is causing problems big time. I just stay prayed up and try to keep GOD first however it is still hard.  I think we all have our lows and highs that we all struggle with everyday.  I just feel that at this time my mental bags are extra heavy.  Those suckers are really dragging me down and putting a damper on my spirits.

 

Now that is enough about my mental struggles and lets talk ABOUT my results from the Endoscopy and colonoscopy. The endoscopy came out great and they did not find anything wrong however I am still fighting acid reflux and I am taking 3 medications for it.  Also my colonoscopy was failed…after going to the bathroom over 100 times in a 8 hour period. I was informed that I was still full of shit and he could not complete the procedure, however he did get one poly out and it was tested and was negative. But because they did find one poly I was schedule for a colon X-ray this upcoming week.   Now that a sucker.  I drunk 2 full bottles of that nasty junk and was still full of shit.  Now I got to do a barium enema x-ray. I hate doing these sucker.  However maybe I will lose about 5 pounds.  Heck a girl can hope and dream right!!

Peace, Love and Happiness

Tracy

Future jogger right here!

Good morning beautiful people!  As we know I have been really active about my weight loss.  I want to reach my weight goal which means I got to get really proactive about my weight loss.  I have always wanted to jog but was unsure that I can do it.  Well yesterday i decide to walk around my neighborhood and use the Map me walk  app. 

 I started off at a good pace with my headphones on and my stick to beat off any creatures that venture to close to me.  One thing about my neighborhood is that it has a lot of hills and this caused me to burn more calories and energy.  I did really well and did not get tired at all… Just sweaty.  I walked about a mile and half and burn around 240 calories.  I am planning on walking again everyday and I am going to try a longer distance because I want to burn around 500 calories each time.   

The while point of this post is that I didn’t think I would be able to jog.   But after starting my walking regime outside…. I think I may be a jogger in the near future.  

Peace, love and Happiness

Tracy Be Blessed!

Celebrating Three years weight loss surgery anniversary!

Hey beautiful people!  Sorry I haven’t been posting but it’s been crazy this last month at work.   As you all know i consider myself a fashionista…. The cheap version. See this  one right here will never ever own a pair of red bottom shoes unless someone send them to me free.  This right cha here will never ever wear Verace clothing.  Lol…I am just being real. If i ever win the lottery or get a my dream job making over 100 grand a year  I still wouldn’t  buy any because I can’t see paying those type of prices for clothing.  

I know somebody looking at this post like what does this have to do with weight loss.  A lot I say.  When you are overweight you was limited in what and where you could purchase your clothing from.  Now three years later it is better everybody is carrying size 26 all the way up to size 32.  But back in 2014 which was just three year ago it was not that easy.  I had started  thinking about sewing and designing my own clothing because it was so hard to find clothing in my size that look good professionally.  I know at that time Catherine’s and lane Bryant was out there but they are high also.  At that time my favorite store Ashley Stewart didn’t go pass  a 24 or 26.  Cato’s Stores carried my size but you and every other person had the same outfit on.  

Now fast forward to now… Clothes in my size 14 are everywhere.  White, lime green , mauve, peach, orange all these colors…. Oh my what is a girl to do… But shop until she drop.  My closet rods get mad everytime I hang something new in there.

I just celebrated my 3  years weight loss surgery anniversary on July 31.  Being able to shop anywhere is the best reward for losing this weight.  I love going to the Goodwill and putting pretty pieces together.   It just something about feeling and looking good when you go out.  Because I can reflect back before my weight loss surgery and I swore everybody was whispering about my weight behind my back. Shoot I remember the first time I flew on my first airplane flight, my sister had told me before hand to ask for a extender for the seat belt as soon as I got on to avoid any embarrassment of asking after I sat down.  This was so true.  Little things like that draw attention to your weight big time.   Nevertheless this is not a problem anymore…. Because I know they are eagerly waiting just to see what I have on. (I have been told this numerous times)   I have set the stage for me and only me…I can’t be better than nobody but me …..from two days ago.  

 GOD blessing!    Stay blessed and not stressed! Love, peace and Happiness beautiful people!

Tracy 

College choices HBCU or not?


Good afternoon beautiful people. My 18 years old son just celebrated his birthday last week and I am so happy for my young man.  He is growing up and about to leave my home after he graduates next year.  We are in the process of visiting colleges to determine where he will further his educational goals.  He is planning on majoring in Computer engineering.  (My baby is smart y’all, spoiled but smart)  With that being said everybody don’t offer this major.  So we are limited at which schools he can attended.  Plus he refused to take his second year of Spanish because he struggle so hard in it last year and don’t want to drop his grade point average for his last year.  We have chosen three colleges that offers the program and are focusing on campus visits and don’t required the two years of foreign language.   However My son has expressed a lot of interests in Clalfin university locate in Orangeburg, SC.  We are planning a visit soon.

Here is my dilemma… Claflin is a HBCU (Historical Black College University) and has a good stem program that focuses on jobs in this field.   The college ranking is not the issue…. Its the lack of support from other African Americans.  As soon as we mention him applying at Claflin or North Carolina A&T University there is the look of disgust on everyone face.   I don’t understand why people are so negative about attending  any HSBU now a days.  When I was in high school the show “Different World” made me want to attend a HSBU and I did.  I attended Livingstone college in Salisbury NC and didn’t return because I met my husband.  I have always supported my college and still do to this day.  I feel that things could change for the HSBU if the president did something to change the negative image that is being portrayed about the HBCU. But what makes me mad is when the CIAA tournament is held  here in Charlotte, NC the turnout are always huge.  Those same people be ready to attend the things planned that weekend.

One thing that I can say is kids in my son’s age group,  are changing and the kids are looking at the HBCU and the enrollments are increasing for a lot of the HBCU colleges. But that ages group that is around the 30s and  late 30 are not supported of the HBCU here in South Carolina… At least the ones I have encountered.   They talk very negative and don’t have anything good to say about the schools.

The good thing about this is my son and a lot of his friends loves the idea of attending an HBCU getting to experience everything they have to offer on the campus.  I myself have always wanted to work at one of the campus.  Because I had such a great experience when I attended Livingstone college back in the early 90s.  Nevertheless my son is looking forward to his upcoming campus visit to Claflin University!

Love, peace and happiness!!

Tracy

Two little wilted round small oranges.

breast

Good evening beautiful people!

I went to the YMCA today and burned around 500 calories!! I did that and I am patting myself on the back fat because it is disappearing as I type. I be pumping iron and breathing, pumping iron and breathing, pausing to keep from passing out and working on those areas trying to make them disappear.  With that being said I want to discuss a subject that is a little out there.  So hang tight while I gather my words.

Before my weight loss surgery…I had this humongous stomach and my two little …how do I say this without sounding vulgar…my two little melons just lay there like two little wilted round small oranges. Because of my stomach I look like I didn’t even have any boobies.  Man my stomach was so HUGE that my Orthopedic specialist explained to me why my back hurt so much.  I have disk degenerative disease in the lower part of my back because of my weight that I carry for about 20 years.   What I had to understand is that the spine of our body is designed in such a way that it carries the weight of the body and maintains balance and distributes the weight during periods of rest and activity.  Since I was extremely overweight and had a big belly, my spine was forced to carry that extra weight on itself and it was not able to distribute to other parts of the body. This results in my spine being overworked resulting in damage to the spine and causing me to have many sleepless and painful nights. Boy I went through so many mattresses trying to find one that would help me sleep better.  Now remember I also had Sleep Apnea and bad hips that need to be replaced but my insurance would not approve a hip replacement because of my BMI was 55. Because of this I suffers unrelenting back and hip pain.  I was tore up from the floor up.

disk

Fast forward to now and after losing close to 150 pounds and my tummy shrinking down and it is about flat (However I do have skin that will need to be). My back no longer hurts.  Except when I had my hip replaced last November and that was because I couldn’t do nothing but lay on my back.  Now back to subject at hand.  I got breasties!! I got 38 DD size breasts to be exact! (Shaking my head from side to side as I type that)

Would you believe that I am also blushing as I type this, NOT!! I loveeeeeee my breasts.  I buy bras that emphasize those bad boys!! Whatttt…. you can’t tell me nothing!  Let me tell you how much breasts I got.  I was at work one day and my beautiful blond head friend, name Mica poked me in one of my breasts and said she wanted to know where did they come from. See me and her were the two biggest girls in the office with the smallest breasts!  So she was a little jealous because we have always talked about how we wanted big breasts so our stomach wouldn’t be emphasize so much.  LOL I know right. I love you MICA!!! You are my Ivory and I am your Ebony remember that when you are reading this post!!

This is one of the pro about any weight loss. You gain a figure!! Shoot I have a waist, hips, breasts, butt and I am going to keep those bad boys.  So I will be eating PROTEIN FIRST for the rest of my life and popping vitamins everyday!! I love going to sleep and my back not hurting so bad that I can’t sleep.

Smooches beautiful people!!  Check me out in my Sunday gear from this past Sunday. Boobies was popping!!img_1597

Love, Peace and Happiness!

Tracy