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Its a struggle being consistent 

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Good afternoon beautiful people!  I just wanted to blog about trying to lose weight and being at a standstill for a long period.  I really want to drop about 30 pounds and it seems that I am fighting like heck just to lose 5 pounds.  Now let’s be real.  Consistently is a must.  I must be consistent and exercise  on a regular basis.  I must be consistent about eating healthy food.  I must be consistent and get my water intake in.  There are so many more things I got to do better about.  I am very alert and aware of my weight which causes me and my scale to have this love and hate relationship.  I am constantly stepping on him just to see what he say.  (Yes my scale is a he.)  Because only a man can give you various information that’s bad majority of the time.  Lol

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I personally know that I am always looking in the mirror and I see every imperfections and every flaw on my body.  Every woman does this no matter how pretty she is.  There will always be an area that you wants fixed.  For me it is my weight. I want to lose more pounds because I am so scared of going back to fat Tracy.   I sometimes look in the mirror and all I can see is that 340 pound woman.  That vision scares the living hell out of me.   I used this as a guide to ensure that I don’t get back there.

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Nevertheless I always start planning my next day the day before.  I have everything all planned out in my head and never do ALL the things I have planned to do and usually it is the stuff that deals with eating and exercise.  If I did everything that I planned in my head I would weigh around 140 pounds.  I just got to get more consistent period. I know if I could lose a few pounds each week this would motivate me to be more consistent.  But I am just like most people I want thing to be easy and that not the case.  Even though I had the gastric bypass surgery it is still hard to keep this weight off and keep losing. Then here is the kicker when I finally meet my goals…I will start complaining about something else.  However that is not the point right now.  The point right now is being consistent as I keep saying in this post.

Another thing that bother me is when I go out to eat with family members.  I rarely eat more than 1/4 of my food.  However that don’t stop those vultures from watching and waiting for me to finish so they can swallow the rest of my food whole.  I don’t know why I let this upsets me but it does and it causes me to overeat because I know they are going to eat my leftovers.  I am working on this really hard because this type of gluttony can cause overeating which stretch Shelly the belly.  Help me LORD, because this should be my last worry. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I fight this battle that is continuous and never-ending.

I do got news to post about my tests I had this week and a couple of weeks ago.  I will post a blog about my results from the supposedly X-ray of my colon.  Please note I say supposedly….until later guys and gals!

Love, Peace and Happiness

Tracy.

 

 

 

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Just taking it one day at a time

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Good morning beautiful people!  I know I have fell off on my blogging but I am going through a really rough time right now mentally.  I am just taking it one day at a time and anything extra just takes a lot out of me..  However even though I am struggling mentally.  My weight always stays at the forefront of my mind.  I refuse to let this mental stuff make me gain weight.  I am focusing on my weight more than anything and I am trying to maintain and make sure I am keeping those pounds away.  I am still walking and I am in the process of adding more miles.

Now I could never really air what is going on in my personal life but it really life changing and it is causing problems big time. I just stay prayed up and try to keep GOD first however it is still hard.  I think we all have our lows and highs that we all struggle with everyday.  I just feel that at this time my mental bags are extra heavy.  Those suckers are really dragging me down and putting a damper on my spirits.

 

Now that is enough about my mental struggles and lets talk ABOUT my results from the Endoscopy and colonoscopy. The endoscopy came out great and they did not find anything wrong however I am still fighting acid reflux and I am taking 3 medications for it.  Also my colonoscopy was failed…after going to the bathroom over 100 times in a 8 hour period. I was informed that I was still full of shit and he could not complete the procedure, however he did get one poly out and it was tested and was negative. But because they did find one poly I was schedule for a colon X-ray this upcoming week.   Now that a sucker.  I drunk 2 full bottles of that nasty junk and was still full of shit.  Now I got to do a barium enema x-ray. I hate doing these sucker.  However maybe I will lose about 5 pounds.  Heck a girl can hope and dream right!!

Peace, Love and Happiness

Tracy

Future jogger right here!

Good morning beautiful people!  As we know I have been really active about my weight loss.  I want to reach my weight goal which means I got to get really proactive about my weight loss.  I have always wanted to jog but was unsure that I can do it.  Well yesterday i decide to walk around my neighborhood and use the Map me walk  app. 

 I started off at a good pace with my headphones on and my stick to beat off any creatures that venture to close to me.  One thing about my neighborhood is that it has a lot of hills and this caused me to burn more calories and energy.  I did really well and did not get tired at all… Just sweaty.  I walked about a mile and half and burn around 240 calories.  I am planning on walking again everyday and I am going to try a longer distance because I want to burn around 500 calories each time.   

The while point of this post is that I didn’t think I would be able to jog.   But after starting my walking regime outside…. I think I may be a jogger in the near future.  

Peace, love and Happiness

Tracy Be Blessed!

When you underestimate the weather. 

Good morning beautiful people!! Am I the only person who plan all kinds of stuff to do in your head, that can help you meet your weight goal and don’t do it.

Well I was determined to actually do something that I had planned in my head for a change.  So……..I plan a mile walk and only did half a mile at most.  For instant……I knew I was babysitting my beautiful baby last Saturday and she loves to take walks outside.  So I told my daughter to bring her stroller because we’re going for a walk that day.

First mistake….I got dressed and left the house with her in the stroller eating on her snack around 11:30 in the morning.  Yea, yea…. I know ….. that’s when it is starting to get really hot. Well it wasn’t… at first.  But that changed real quick.

Second mistake….I tried to get all glammed up….(you know pretty) big mistake… First the sun was bearing down on my wig.  (important note to remember… Wigs do not block the sun) The jeans was not comfortable to walk in and I didn’t put socks on with my tennis shoes.  You talking about a slipping and sliding mess.

Third mistake….I should have taken A stick to fight off any creatures that decide to investigate Addie and I.  Especially since little Addie want to holler “dog” at anything with four legs and do her imitate of a growl at the creature.  Note…some animals want to growl back and attack.

Fourth mistake….I really thought I was going to walk a whole mile out in that hot and humid mess.  I was missing the YMCA with its air conditioner, fan and TV on each machine drying my sweat.  The cold water foundation that I could go to at any given time.

Fifth dang mistake…I forgot to download the dang walking app so I could see how many steps I took and how far I walk.

At this point I don’t know if I will ever, ever, ever start jogging outside.  I think I am spoiled by the YMCA.

Love, peace and happiness!

Tracy

Magic wand that makes your fat melt away

 

Good afternoon beautiful people!  I have been thinking about this writing this post for a few days and I finally got around to doing it.

I  got to start this blog off by saying this ……Weight loss surgery is not a cure all!  Let me say this one more time for those who are considering having this surgery.  There is no such things as waving a magic wand and all your fat just melt away for eternity. Weight loss surgery is not a cure all!

Now I know you are looking at this post and wondering why I am saying this and I am going to tell you why.  I have had several people who had this surgery and afterwards tell me…. they hate they did it.  They go on complaining about how their stomach hurts when they start trying to eat food that they were told not to eat.  Why is my stomach still big and why can’t I look like you?  Why is the scale not moving?  One friend even told me she hates protein shakes…and can’t stand to drink any.  But then she went on to tell me that her legs gave out on.  Here the thang….yes I said thang….. if you can’t do proteins shakes you better find something else to get those proteins in!  Shoot they have all kinds of other liquids with protein added.  You need that protein for those muscle… As for my friend……You know what I got to say about all of this…. WELCOME TO THE FREAKING CLUB you thought it was going to be easy.  WRONG.

This surgery is a life changing surgery that helps you reach your desired weight goal if you do what your doctor and nutritionist teaches you to do.  Yea, yea, you will lose weight…but I bet you a dollar after the weight has plateau around your 3rd year…that fat will return.  Here is thing …..food is everywhere and you are constantly seeing it and it always knocking at your door saying …”Tracy come and take a bite of this rich thick piece of chocolate brownie…it won’t hurt.”  (blank stare)  Yes, it will because you will go back numerous times just to bite that bad boy!  After surgery, you got to change your daily eating habits for weight loss to happen. Sometimes you even have to separate from friends or family members who tempts you to overeat.  Shoot I found myself on numerous occasions overeating just because I knew my son was watching my plate so he could eat my leftovers.  Oh man, lunch at work was really bad.  When I go out to eat…I can only take a few bites so I am always getting a takeout box to take my remains back to my office and guess what I do.  I nibble on that left over food all day.  Heck I don’t be hungry…I just eat it because it is there.  How I stopped this bad habit, required that I start bringing my lunch to the office. That way I controlled my eating better. If I do go to lunch I put my plate in fridge at the office and don’t get it out until I go home and I make sure it is a healthy meal.

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Please understand I am not being a know it all.  I am just tired of the bull crap about how I took the easy route. Shoot all I did was take a short cut that lead me right back to the main highway and I still got to do what everybody else has to do.  Watch what I eat and exercise to keep the weight off.   If anything this journey is harder because when you over eat it causes pain and everything you have to go through to have the surgery.  Please let’s not forget all of the medicine that you are required to take for the rest of you life.  This is not the easily road…this is the hardest road with so many curve balls it is ridiculous.

Love, Peace and Happiness

Tracy

 

 

Two little wilted round small oranges.

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Good evening beautiful people!

I went to the YMCA today and burned around 500 calories!! I did that and I am patting myself on the back fat because it is disappearing as I type. I be pumping iron and breathing, pumping iron and breathing, pausing to keep from passing out and working on those areas trying to make them disappear.  With that being said I want to discuss a subject that is a little out there.  So hang tight while I gather my words.

Before my weight loss surgery…I had this humongous stomach and my two little …how do I say this without sounding vulgar…my two little melons just lay there like two little wilted round small oranges. Because of my stomach I look like I didn’t even have any boobies.  Man my stomach was so HUGE that my Orthopedic specialist explained to me why my back hurt so much.  I have disk degenerative disease in the lower part of my back because of my weight that I carry for about 20 years.   What I had to understand is that the spine of our body is designed in such a way that it carries the weight of the body and maintains balance and distributes the weight during periods of rest and activity.  Since I was extremely overweight and had a big belly, my spine was forced to carry that extra weight on itself and it was not able to distribute to other parts of the body. This results in my spine being overworked resulting in damage to the spine and causing me to have many sleepless and painful nights. Boy I went through so many mattresses trying to find one that would help me sleep better.  Now remember I also had Sleep Apnea and bad hips that need to be replaced but my insurance would not approve a hip replacement because of my BMI was 55. Because of this I suffers unrelenting back and hip pain.  I was tore up from the floor up.

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Fast forward to now and after losing close to 150 pounds and my tummy shrinking down and it is about flat (However I do have skin that will need to be). My back no longer hurts.  Except when I had my hip replaced last November and that was because I couldn’t do nothing but lay on my back.  Now back to subject at hand.  I got breasties!! I got 38 DD size breasts to be exact! (Shaking my head from side to side as I type that)

Would you believe that I am also blushing as I type this, NOT!! I loveeeeeee my breasts.  I buy bras that emphasize those bad boys!! Whatttt…. you can’t tell me nothing!  Let me tell you how much breasts I got.  I was at work one day and my beautiful blond head friend, name Mica poked me in one of my breasts and said she wanted to know where did they come from. See me and her were the two biggest girls in the office with the smallest breasts!  So she was a little jealous because we have always talked about how we wanted big breasts so our stomach wouldn’t be emphasize so much.  LOL I know right. I love you MICA!!! You are my Ivory and I am your Ebony remember that when you are reading this post!!

This is one of the pro about any weight loss. You gain a figure!! Shoot I have a waist, hips, breasts, butt and I am going to keep those bad boys.  So I will be eating PROTEIN FIRST for the rest of my life and popping vitamins everyday!! I love going to sleep and my back not hurting so bad that I can’t sleep.

Smooches beautiful people!!  Check me out in my Sunday gear from this past Sunday. Boobies was popping!!img_1597

Love, Peace and Happiness!

Tracy

I hate my weight loss scale!

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Good afternoon beautiful people!

I woke up this morning and started getting my son and I ready to attend church for our Pastor’s Anniversary.  We had another pastor speaking for the Anniversary and his church was accompanying.  So that meant we wouldn’t get out regular seats if we didn’t leave early.  With that being said….I don’t care how much I got to do and if I am in a hurry.  I will always make that stop at the weight scale.  Well this morning the scale was at a stand still as it has been for the last two days.  My first thought after stepping on the little sucker three times and the numbers didn’t change was to throw that bad boy out the window.  Don’t that just piss you off.  I know I am not the only person who wants to pick their scale up and threw it up against the wall because we want to see those numbers go down so bad. However, here is the thing I am doing good because I have lost 6 pounds since I corrected my negative behaviors in one week. I also added some good habits that should keep the scale from going up.  I have looked at my body and examine my thighs and arms trying to figure out which area lost the pounds (that where I want to lose weight).  Knowing my stupid body…I probable lost the weight on my dang feet again.  I went from a size twelve extra wide in shoes to a size nine wide in shoes.   That another post for another day.  Nevertheless I can’t tell where the pounds came off….. but I am really happy with the 6 pounds I lost.

I know I lost six pound but I want to examine what a five pound loss look like. The picture below shows a great example of a 5 pound weight loss versus the weight of a brick.  Then the other pictures are showing 5, 10, 15, 20 pounds weight loss.  I have a friend that recently loss twenty pounds and is really tone and looks real good. You can’t tell them anything they are so happy with their results.  Muscles was popping and they was firm and tight all over.  I was so jealous but trust and believe I understand how they feel. I would really be happy with a twenty pound weight loss.

 

Nevertheless don’t ever get upset with just one pound lost because that an awesome start. The whole point is not to give up and not think you are doing good. Because even if it is one pound you are still making progress and one pound is better than plus one!

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Love, Peace and Happiness!!

Tracy