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Its a struggle being consistent 

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Good afternoon beautiful people!  I just wanted to blog about trying to lose weight and being at a standstill for a long period.  I really want to drop about 30 pounds and it seems that I am fighting like heck just to lose 5 pounds.  Now let’s be real.  Consistently is a must.  I must be consistent and exercise  on a regular basis.  I must be consistent about eating healthy food.  I must be consistent and get my water intake in.  There are so many more things I got to do better about.  I am very alert and aware of my weight which causes me and my scale to have this love and hate relationship.  I am constantly stepping on him just to see what he say.  (Yes my scale is a he.)  Because only a man can give you various information that’s bad majority of the time.  Lol

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I personally know that I am always looking in the mirror and I see every imperfections and every flaw on my body.  Every woman does this no matter how pretty she is.  There will always be an area that you wants fixed.  For me it is my weight. I want to lose more pounds because I am so scared of going back to fat Tracy.   I sometimes look in the mirror and all I can see is that 340 pound woman.  That vision scares the living hell out of me.   I used this as a guide to ensure that I don’t get back there.

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Nevertheless I always start planning my next day the day before.  I have everything all planned out in my head and never do ALL the things I have planned to do and usually it is the stuff that deals with eating and exercise.  If I did everything that I planned in my head I would weigh around 140 pounds.  I just got to get more consistent period. I know if I could lose a few pounds each week this would motivate me to be more consistent.  But I am just like most people I want thing to be easy and that not the case.  Even though I had the gastric bypass surgery it is still hard to keep this weight off and keep losing. Then here is the kicker when I finally meet my goals…I will start complaining about something else.  However that is not the point right now.  The point right now is being consistent as I keep saying in this post.

Another thing that bother me is when I go out to eat with family members.  I rarely eat more than 1/4 of my food.  However that don’t stop those vultures from watching and waiting for me to finish so they can swallow the rest of my food whole.  I don’t know why I let this upsets me but it does and it causes me to overeat because I know they are going to eat my leftovers.  I am working on this really hard because this type of gluttony can cause overeating which stretch Shelly the belly.  Help me LORD, because this should be my last worry. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I fight this battle that is continuous and never-ending.

I do got news to post about my tests I had this week and a couple of weeks ago.  I will post a blog about my results from the supposedly X-ray of my colon.  Please note I say supposedly….until later guys and gals!

Love, Peace and Happiness

Tracy.

 

 

 

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Just taking it one day at a time

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Good morning beautiful people!  I know I have fell off on my blogging but I am going through a really rough time right now mentally.  I am just taking it one day at a time and anything extra just takes a lot out of me..  However even though I am struggling mentally.  My weight always stays at the forefront of my mind.  I refuse to let this mental stuff make me gain weight.  I am focusing on my weight more than anything and I am trying to maintain and make sure I am keeping those pounds away.  I am still walking and I am in the process of adding more miles.

Now I could never really air what is going on in my personal life but it really life changing and it is causing problems big time. I just stay prayed up and try to keep GOD first however it is still hard.  I think we all have our lows and highs that we all struggle with everyday.  I just feel that at this time my mental bags are extra heavy.  Those suckers are really dragging me down and putting a damper on my spirits.

 

Now that is enough about my mental struggles and lets talk ABOUT my results from the Endoscopy and colonoscopy. The endoscopy came out great and they did not find anything wrong however I am still fighting acid reflux and I am taking 3 medications for it.  Also my colonoscopy was failed…after going to the bathroom over 100 times in a 8 hour period. I was informed that I was still full of shit and he could not complete the procedure, however he did get one poly out and it was tested and was negative. But because they did find one poly I was schedule for a colon X-ray this upcoming week.   Now that a sucker.  I drunk 2 full bottles of that nasty junk and was still full of shit.  Now I got to do a barium enema x-ray. I hate doing these sucker.  However maybe I will lose about 5 pounds.  Heck a girl can hope and dream right!!

Peace, Love and Happiness

Tracy

Future jogger right here!

Good morning beautiful people!  As we know I have been really active about my weight loss.  I want to reach my weight goal which means I got to get really proactive about my weight loss.  I have always wanted to jog but was unsure that I can do it.  Well yesterday i decide to walk around my neighborhood and use the Map me walk  app. 

 I started off at a good pace with my headphones on and my stick to beat off any creatures that venture to close to me.  One thing about my neighborhood is that it has a lot of hills and this caused me to burn more calories and energy.  I did really well and did not get tired at all… Just sweaty.  I walked about a mile and half and burn around 240 calories.  I am planning on walking again everyday and I am going to try a longer distance because I want to burn around 500 calories each time.   

The while point of this post is that I didn’t think I would be able to jog.   But after starting my walking regime outside…. I think I may be a jogger in the near future.  

Peace, love and Happiness

Tracy Be Blessed!

Celebrating Three years weight loss surgery anniversary!

Hey beautiful people!  Sorry I haven’t been posting but it’s been crazy this last month at work.   As you all know i consider myself a fashionista…. The cheap version. See this  one right here will never ever own a pair of red bottom shoes unless someone send them to me free.  This right cha here will never ever wear Verace clothing.  Lol…I am just being real. If i ever win the lottery or get a my dream job making over 100 grand a year  I still wouldn’t  buy any because I can’t see paying those type of prices for clothing.  

I know somebody looking at this post like what does this have to do with weight loss.  A lot I say.  When you are overweight you was limited in what and where you could purchase your clothing from.  Now three years later it is better everybody is carrying size 26 all the way up to size 32.  But back in 2014 which was just three year ago it was not that easy.  I had started  thinking about sewing and designing my own clothing because it was so hard to find clothing in my size that look good professionally.  I know at that time Catherine’s and lane Bryant was out there but they are high also.  At that time my favorite store Ashley Stewart didn’t go pass  a 24 or 26.  Cato’s Stores carried my size but you and every other person had the same outfit on.  

Now fast forward to now… Clothes in my size 14 are everywhere.  White, lime green , mauve, peach, orange all these colors…. Oh my what is a girl to do… But shop until she drop.  My closet rods get mad everytime I hang something new in there.

I just celebrated my 3  years weight loss surgery anniversary on July 31.  Being able to shop anywhere is the best reward for losing this weight.  I love going to the Goodwill and putting pretty pieces together.   It just something about feeling and looking good when you go out.  Because I can reflect back before my weight loss surgery and I swore everybody was whispering about my weight behind my back. Shoot I remember the first time I flew on my first airplane flight, my sister had told me before hand to ask for a extender for the seat belt as soon as I got on to avoid any embarrassment of asking after I sat down.  This was so true.  Little things like that draw attention to your weight big time.   Nevertheless this is not a problem anymore…. Because I know they are eagerly waiting just to see what I have on. (I have been told this numerous times)   I have set the stage for me and only me…I can’t be better than nobody but me …..from two days ago.  

 GOD blessing!    Stay blessed and not stressed! Love, peace and Happiness beautiful people!

Tracy 

Three years…..since I embarked on this weight loss journey

Good morning beautiful people!  I am so happy because I am coming up on my three year anniversary for my weight loss surgery at the end of this month.  I have a doctor appointment to  meet with my Gastric bypass surgery doctor to look at my progress and to help me continue to meet  my goal.  This has been such a great experience that there is no way I could ever regret having this surgery.  My starting weight was 340 pounds.  I currently weigh 205.  I wear a size 14 in clothing whereas I use to wear a size 28 to size 30.  My goal weight is still 175.  So I got about 30 more pounds to drop.   

Here are my  pros since I had my RNY gastric bypass surgery.

  • One I can shop at any store now.
  • I can walk without having to feel like I am going to pass out or my feet and or back hurting.
  • I can actually take care of very personal hygiene thing without struggling.
  • I feel healthy 
  • I am not a diabetic anymore
  • I can wear heels
  • I can sit in booth at a restaurant and not have to go to a table because my stomach is so big
  • I can buy pretty shoes 
  • I can see my feet when standing up and looking down (my belly blocked my view previously)
  • I was able to have my hip replacement 
  • The best one….I feel sexy, good and happy with me.

Now this is my personal journey and I am happy as heck about it.  What’s for me is for me.  My journey can’t be like the chick next door because we are two different people.  My success may not be as great as someone else’s but I am  happy with what I have accomplished.  Because the truth be told I could still be that that overweight, depressed in pain lady with very low self esteem.  I use to worry all the time that people was talking about me because of my weight.  Now I walk through a crowd like I am parting the sea shouting “the queen is here.”  I love the new me!!

    Peace, love and Happiness!!

    Tracy 

    Dealing with my hip replacement limitations

    Hello beautiful people!  As you all know I have discussed having my left hop replaced last November in 2016.  I have had problems with my hip for years and needed a hip replacement.  However no doctor would perform the surgery because my BMI was over 51 and at that time I weighed around 340 pounds.  I had my gastric bypass surgery in 2014 and waited about a year and half later to have my hip replacement surgery.

    When the pain started worsen I knew it was finally time to get the left one replaced.  However, I have seconded  guess myself at times.  For whatever reason..I had this little image in my mind that they would just take the old hip out and replace with some kind of foreign material that would perform the same duties as my regular hip bone.  Wrong, oh man I was so wrong.  What they actually did was used an ax to severe my hip bone from the other bone.  Cut and remove the head of my thigh bone.  Then they cleaned out my hip socket and remove the rest of the cartilage, the damaged arthritic bone with the cyst that covered over 50% of my hip bone.  (That’s why my doctors wanted me to use a walker.  They were scared I was going to fall and break my really thin hip.)  Then the doctor put the new hip socket in place, a liner is then placed in the new socket.   Then they did something that I failed to hear or I was sleepy….. Heck I don’t know…. All I know is I didn’t know they was going to inserted medal stem into my thigh bone. I just know I miss that little but of information.  They placed the correct-sized ball for the new hip and secure all the new parts. They repair the muscles and tendons around the new joint and close me up.  Fast forward…. To now.  

    One thing I assumed was I would be able to cut and paint, clean my left feet with out passing out from pain.  Wrong..I still can’t reach that bad boy.  My son is the one who helps me paint and cut my toenails on my left foot.  Here the thing he hasn’t cut them in months just painted them for me. Well it was time to paint then again so he told me, “Ma your nails are to long I need to cut them.”  As soon as he started… He was hollering “Oh my God” they are too long, they are curving, Ma you can’t reach them at all,  DUCK, they are thick!” He cut trimmed, remove nail polish and repaint.  I love my baby because he didn’t have to do it.  He did tell me I needed to start going to get feet done on a regular basis because he will not be here forever.  I paid him because he didn’t have to do it.

    Nevertheless I am going to contact my orthopedic doctor to get a referral to start a physical therapy program because I want to be able to reach my left feet.  Don’t get me wrong….I can walk without worrying about numbing and pain.  I just can’t reach my left foot. 

    Love, peace and happiness!

    Tracy 

    When you underestimate the weather. 

    Good morning beautiful people!! Am I the only person who plan all kinds of stuff to do in your head, that can help you meet your weight goal and don’t do it.

    Well I was determined to actually do something that I had planned in my head for a change.  So……..I plan a mile walk and only did half a mile at most.  For instant……I knew I was babysitting my beautiful baby last Saturday and she loves to take walks outside.  So I told my daughter to bring her stroller because we’re going for a walk that day.

    First mistake….I got dressed and left the house with her in the stroller eating on her snack around 11:30 in the morning.  Yea, yea…. I know ….. that’s when it is starting to get really hot. Well it wasn’t… at first.  But that changed real quick.

    Second mistake….I tried to get all glammed up….(you know pretty) big mistake… First the sun was bearing down on my wig.  (important note to remember… Wigs do not block the sun) The jeans was not comfortable to walk in and I didn’t put socks on with my tennis shoes.  You talking about a slipping and sliding mess.

    Third mistake….I should have taken A stick to fight off any creatures that decide to investigate Addie and I.  Especially since little Addie want to holler “dog” at anything with four legs and do her imitate of a growl at the creature.  Note…some animals want to growl back and attack.

    Fourth mistake….I really thought I was going to walk a whole mile out in that hot and humid mess.  I was missing the YMCA with its air conditioner, fan and TV on each machine drying my sweat.  The cold water foundation that I could go to at any given time.

    Fifth dang mistake…I forgot to download the dang walking app so I could see how many steps I took and how far I walk.

    At this point I don’t know if I will ever, ever, ever start jogging outside.  I think I am spoiled by the YMCA.

    Love, peace and happiness!

    Tracy