Hello beautiful people! I want to talk about something that I had to deal with during this weight loss. One of my major issues in my life has been my self esteem.
Now what I am about to say is my own personal experiences and opinions. In our culture the light skin versus the dark skin……or the good hair versus the nappy hair was really prevalence. Now you have to remember I was teenager during the 80’s when the movie by “School Daze”, by Spike Lee came out. I was really able to relate to this movie, because I always felt like the dark skinned girl with the short coarse hair. I can remember being called fat, ugly and bald by other kids even some family members at times. A family member can break your self esteem worse than anything. Because this is someone you love. Because of my insecurity I believe that without a shadow of doubt this affected me for years and my self esteem suffered severely. It seemed that self esteem has always been a major problem with me. I have discussed this in previous posts. However I never explained how it really affected me. Now fast forward to 20 years later and weighing in at 340 pounds. Can you see how my self esteem had gotten worse? It took for me to start losing weight to finally see that God don’t make mistakes and that I am beautiful inside and out. There are still times that I will still look in the mirror and see Cecily from The Color Purple. However it is has greatly improved with time. Especially with all the good attention my weight loss attracts now.
One thing I found surprising was men have self esteem issues also. I have a friend who is a guy and he discussed self esteem issues because he was the darkest one in his family and did not have lighter eyes or skin like his siblings. He really was hurt by this. Which seen surprising because you don’t usually see this in men. But self esteem issues do not discriminate.
I realize that weight loss does increases one’s self esteem and make someone feel like a new person. We have to realize that we were beautiful when we were overweight we just never accepted it. Society has made us think that darker and heavier individuals feel like we not pretty and are ugly. But we have to remember that God don’t make any mistakes whether we are big, small, dark, skinny, tall, light, white, bright. Whatever you feel like is your shortcoming. Just know that you are beautiful however you look and God don’t make any mistakes.