I am getting excited!! I met with the therapist today and she gave her approval. I had to fill out several questionnaires about myself and she went over the results with me. One of the things she discussed was that I may have the tendency to binge eat and then feel guilty afterward. I stopped and stared at her and was saying in my head…..”No, no, no , not me…. I don’t do that” in my Kevin Hart voice. However every word she said was true. I do binge eat and then regret it afterward, shoot if you don’t believe me read some of my past posts. Even though I have never put my finger down my throat because of my eating habits, it has crossed my mind before but I hate to throw up. I have used the chew and don’t swallow method.
I know you looking at the screen and is wondering what the what???? Well let me explained what the swallow method is…you will bite a piece of sweet chewy chocolate brownie and chew and chew but don’t swallow and spit it out in the trash can. Don’t shake your head or laugh at me. At least I have consciously taken the responsibility to realize that I can’t eat the brownie. Nevertheless, I know all it takes is one bite and you will eat even more. As I have said on several occasions, I am working on these learned behaviors that have caused me to gain all this weight. So be patience with me. I do believe that when you eat unhealthy all kinds of crazy thoughts go through your head of possibly ways of getting all the fat back out of your body.
The therapist also discuss that I put on a fake face when I am around others. I know you are wondering what a fake face is. A fake face is when you smile and act as if your life is just amazing. But what people don’t know is that you hide your problems and doesn’t show people what is really going on in your life. To a certain degree I do act like this, but I am the type of person that believe that everything will work out and not to think negative about my problems. I focus on solutions and how to correct it. I don’t dwell on my problems but a second and then I am in correction mode and focusing on what is my back up plan and implementing it as soon as possible.
Well as a result of this visit with the therapist. I will see the doctor on Monday the 19th. Yes, yes even though this whole process has tore my nerves up. I am getting there. I am so happy I want to cut flips but I don’t believe my stubby arms can handle my weight. Hopefully a date will be coming up next.. Fingers are crossed.