Archive | February 2014

Getting my life back on track

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I have to get myself on track again. I slipped up and fell face first in a cheeseburger plate  last week.  I just happen be walking and all of sudden I slipped and fell on a cheeseburger plate.  When I push myself up the burger was in my mouth. LOL..if I can’t laugh at my mistakes something is really wrong.  I also did something really stupid Wednesday…. I ate a piece of seven favor pound cake, and two pieces of brownies and, and, (I know what else did this heifer eat) ice cream.  As soon as I finished eating I got a huge sugar rush and it was over and done.  I have never felt so bad in my life.  I have been sugar-free for at least three months.  I started sweating and feeling all dizzy like.   I couldn’t figure out what was going on, until I remember those succulent brownies covered in ice cream and the seven favor pound cake.  I will not venture down that road anytime soon for a long time.  I realize that SUGAR is not my friend.

 I am paying for a gym membership that I have only use a few times in the last couple of months.  I made a goal that I would attend the gym at least three times a week.  But of course I have not followed through with that goal.  I can say this much my daughter and son is using the membership.  I am trying to figure out when I can go……but I feel so bad.  I just feel so tired all the time and all I want to do is sleep.  I am taking a vitamin and hopefully that will help with the tiredness.   I am also going to start taking a B12 to try and boost my energy.

Update for progress on weight loss surgery. I met with my doctor this week and he explained what my next steps will be after the endoscopy pertaining that everything goes well with the procedure next Friday.  I will meet with the nurse and she will send for approval from my insurance.  If I all goes well I am hoping that I will be able to have the surgery at the end of March after my two-week liquid diet.

I am so ready for this to be over.  I am ready to get on the loser bench and get my health back on track.

Love, Peace and Happiness!!

Ms. Tracy

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I am constantly learning, relearning and adjusting everyday.

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A month ago I posted about Cognitive-Emotive Dissonance (see the link)  http://wp.me/p48Fm9-4k.  I believe that I have adapted to this behavior and I have determined that I have change behaviors.  I am continuously make good food choices without any problems.

When I go to the grocery store I know what to buy to keep up good eating habits to make sure that I support  healthy eating. It is really easy to eat unhealthy food, but I am doing my best to stay focus.  My 14 years old son, is also peeping over my shoulder all the time, because he wants to lose weight to pick up his speed for his football.   So this also helps with staying motivated.

My biggest issue is when the hubby and I go out eat.  I always have a hard time picking healthy choices.   I have this thing where I want to eat something good because I am paying for it. This is where cognitive-emotive dissonance comes into play when eating out.  This is behavior that I will have to really work on, it is in my opinion that it is really easy to control these behaviors at home.  But when you are dining out it is really hard to stay on track.  Those temptations fly out the window and that previous behavior surfaces again.   One thing I have learned on this road is that everything is not easy.  Because food is my temptation, I have come ready to fight and win.

I recently ran across several posts about weight loss.  Some inspirations, some not, and one such site seemed to view obesity differently.  It stated that if we wants to stay overweight why should non-fat people worry about it.    Now while I agree with the author about how we are viewed, I did not agree with the posts about the weight loss and why doctors, nutritionists or whomever should stop encouraging overweight people to lose weight and aim for healthy weight. Nevertheless I have to disagree because if I had listen to my doctor about my eating habits and my weight.  I would not be in the sh
ape I am in now.  I guess one reason I also disagree with the posts is because I am one of those people now.  I have talked to my kids and use myself as example to explained why they need to eat healthy and exercise.  I believe that if I would have listen it would have help me to stay healthy and I would not have all these medical problems that I am having now.  It is in my opinion that we have to open our eyes and realize that being overweight is not good and we are causing ourselves great harm by not focusing on healthy eating habits.

Peace, Love and Happiness!!
Ms. Tracy

Finally the doctor’s approval!!

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I am finally on the way.  I heard from my doctor for the weight loss surgery and the doctor has approved me for the surgery.   You do have to wonder why you would first have to go through:

  • 6 sessions of therapy
  • 6 nutrition meetings with your nutritionist.

Then the doctor has to give his approval, which is all based on the therapist and nutritionist agreeing and giving their approval that you are a good candidate for the surgery.  Oh and let’s not forget that the therapy visits cost $250.00 and the nutritionist is another $230.00.  (I wonder if that money is refundable if they don’t sign off) 

Nevertheless I met all the requirements.  My next step is to meet with Dr. Ross next Wednesday and then I must have the endoscopy procedure the first week in March to check for H. pylori.  If all goes well they will submit approval to my insurance.      

Wooooo!! I feet like I just gave a long speech!  I am ready even though I am nervous.  I mean who wouldn’t be.  You are getting ready to go under a knife and have a major surgery so I am allowed to be nervous and scared. 

 

Love, Peace and Happiness

Tracy

Goals can be met with hard work and perseverance!

I feel like I am at a milestone in my life where I am standing on a cliff that has an elevator that only goes up.  I feel like I am reaching for something and my fingertips keep brushing it but it moves just a little further out and I can’t catch it.   I feel like I am missing something but I can’t figure out what it is. It could be age…….. because I am in 40s and I feel my age in my bones and daily pains.   But after watching this video of 70 years old Sonny I believe that I can reach all my goals that I have set.  I wanted to share this with everyone because this is awesome.   Hopefully this will let everyone know their dreams can come true with hard work and perseverance, myself included.

Peace, Love and Happiness

When shopping as a plus size woman do you just give up?

shopping-girls-cartoonBecause this is a weight loss blog you have to discuss clothing and shoes experiences because your weight affects each one of these things.   I recently talked about my experiences with shoes and now I want to explore buying clothing. 

When you are  severely overweight as I am, you usually have a paunch, beer belly, pot belly, bread basket, muffin top, or just a plain big belly  these only a few well-known names that are use when describing our stomach fat.  Because my belly tends to extend outwards it causes me some problems when I am shopping for pants.

Currently my height is 5’4 and that seems to cause some problems with pants.  I have to hem them or just step on them. But the biggest issues in pants, because of my belly are the fit over my stomach.  I can find pants that will fit the thighs and even go over the buttocks but get stuck on the stomach area.  Usually I am unable to button or hook the pants.  What I don’t understand about clothing designers is …if you making clothes for overweight people why you would assume they would have a slim waistline or no stomach.  I mean really…….I am at the point where I want to start making my clothing myself.  I know what looks good on me and how to hide a lot of my problem areas.  But locating these clothing can cause a big headache.   I hate tight clothing and I go to great effort to hide my bumps and humps.   You will never see Mrs. Tracy in something really tight and revealing and I really, really, really hate leggings, or just plain dang tights. They need to ban or burnt those suckers up  and wipe them from existence. Don’t get me wrong some people look good in them, just not us big girls.

One thing I have notice on facebook in the groups I follow for the weight loss surgery, is that all the people who have had the weight loss surgery are showing off their pictures holding older clothing up that they wore  before their surgery.  This is one of my goals, to be able to purchase clothing that I like and not what they have in my size.

I have this one outfit that I am looking forward to buying and wearing.  I can see myself in a pair of cream wide legs pants and cream vest with big buttons down the front with cream shirt under the vest with a pair of black stiletto heels.

Love, Peace and Happiness

Ms. Tracy

Stay focus, stay on task and just keep going.

I have lost 6 pounds since my last visit to see my nutritionist 2 weeks ago.  I have stretched and picked and pulled every piece of skin I have trying to find where the pounds came off.  Because I can’t tell where the weight loss occurred and it irritated the heck out of me.  It would be awesome if you could pin point where the fat loss is located. You know….. just be able to look at your stomach and say “Oh my, I lost 6 pounds in my stomach area.”  Well girl can dream right. lol

Nevertheless I am really happy with my weight loss, especially 6 pounds.  I know sometimes I will not lose weight and this is when I have to keep going.  I know I have come too far to just give up. I remember just last year around this time before my husband changed jobs.   I was practicing a healthy lifestyle, I was  eating healthy and exercising trying to lose weight.  Weight loss surgery was not even a possibility.  Then my hubby changed jobs in September and the first thing I checked out was weight loss surgery and because it was allowed, I got excited.  Especially since I had recently meet with my orthopedic and he had informed me that I was going to have to have a hip replacement but first I had to lose weight. If I didn’t lose weight they would not be able to do anything until I broke the bad boy and then and only then would they do the surgery.  Then he gave the bad news, if they did have to do the surgery because I broke my hip, my weight could cause all kind of complications during surgery.

See here my understanding; I have tried many things to get this weight only to fall short every time.  The motivation was there and I would start good then somewhere along the way I would fall off.  I have to give credit to the good man above, to my Lord and Savior.  He is the only one who has supplied everything I ever needed.  He has opened so many doors and closed some that was of no use to me.   Because of his guidance I am finally on the right track to get my health on track. My pending weight loss surgery is only because GOD opened that door for my husband and now he is on a job that he is finally satisfied with that has good benefits and pay.

See when we don’t see a way out…..we have to remember to be patience and wait on the Good Lord Above and he will make a way out of no way.  It will not be easy and there are things that you have to change to be successful with your weight loss.  But you can do it.  Just have a talk with him about your path and he will guide your steps. According to Isaiah 64:4, “He acts in behalf of the one who waits for Him.” Although it may seem that He’s forgotten you, if you keep trusting and waiting, He will take care of you.

Love, Peace and Happiness

Mrs. Tracy

I want to rock a pair of 6 inches stiletto heels!

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I believe that women with a little more bounce to the ounce want to wear stiletto and heels as well.   I want to wear pair of heels that will not make my knees buckle or my back give out.  I want to wear a wide legs pants outfit with a pair of skinny heels sticking out.  I want to walk the model walk and make people turn and say who is that sister because she is fabulous?  I want people to stop me and ask me girl “Where did you get those shoes?” I don’t know if this is a dream that I will ever accomplish because of my hips and weight.  But I would love to just pose and stand in pair of stiletto and look good, at least a girl can dream. 

I tell you what pisses me off are the shoe designers who make the shoes to narrow and very uncomfortable.  The shoes I do find for my wide feet are hideous.  I end up paying at least $60 and up for a really good pair of shoes so that limits how many pair I can buy. I also hate how quick the shoes mold to my feet, which mean after a couple of months of wear and tear they start to lean with me. Shoes with a wedge heels give the most stability as long as they do not  go past a 1 ½ inch heels or I will tilt over real quick. 

 I remember before I start gaining weight I wore a size 8 ½ or 9 in shoes and could wear at least 3 inches back in the day.  Now days I can barely stuff these logs in a size 11 so I normally purchases a size 12 wide or extra wide.  I have at least 20 pair of shoes that I have bought in a store after trying them on, only to find out later that my feet have staged a war with me as soon as I put the shoes on and start walking. 

I have notice that a lot of people who have had the weight loss surgery talk about their shoes size going down.  I am hoping that my shoes size go down also.  Than I will be able to buy prettier shoes just under 2 inch heels.

 

Love, Peace and Happiness

Ms. Tracy