Someone ask me a question and I decide to post my thoughts about it.
What if I my insurance don’t pay for my surgery? What if I am denied?
Would I give up and just keep gaining more and more weight. The answer is no. I am doing everything as if I am not having the surgery now. Because I am at the point where I want to have a healthy weight, gaining more weight and letting myself go yet again is not even an option. I hate my weight, I hate the problems that I have from my weight, and I hate this fat that causes so many restrictions. Don’t get me wrong I am not depressed or anything, I am determine and I look forward to getting this weight off. The same way I complete my bachelor and my master degree which were goals. I am going to stay focus on my goal which is losing weight.
One thing I know is that everything doesn’t always work out the way you want it to. Sometime things go astray and you have to always have at least two backup plans. Always keep your eyes on the prize. I am!!
I attended my last therapy meeting Wednesday and the therapist talked about Cognitive-Emotive Dissonance. When she spoke these words, I repeated them out loud, trying to get a feel for these three words because evidently these three words are something that I should be really comforted with. The feeling of discomfort that results from holding two conflicting beliefs is Cognitive Emotive. When there is a difference between beliefs and behaviors, something must change to end or reduce the conflict.
Well this is your girl right here, because I am currently in this situation and I am trying to make eating healthy normal behavior. When you embark on a healthy life change you are changing behaviors that you have viewed as normal for your whole life. Learning to eat the right food that will not cause weight gain and that are good for your body, requires a lot of effort and you will have to be very aware of what you are eating all the time.
According to my therapist she stated that you have to realize that your old way of eating, feeling or acting when it comes to eating healthy is not right. Develop a more healthy way of thinking about food and practice, practice and practice until it becomes your normal way of thinking.
Overall I believe that I am currently converting to this new way of thinking, it is hard changing, but it has awesome rewards that I am eager to see and enjoy.
Well my hubby read my blog about his concerns about my weight loss surgery and how it would affect our marriage. He was a little embarrassed but the Big He-man said he was more than able to handle my weight loss and he don’t need any therapy group. LOL Hilarious!!.
However because of our healthy eating style my husband lost 7 pounds in the last couple of weeks. My daughter and son have also lost weight. GOD is so GOOD!!
I started the YMCA membership back up on Thursday and we will all start attending this week. I talked with the program coördinator about starting some classes up for water aerobics to help with my hips in the evening, but she was really concern about people not showing up. However she told about a new machine that she thinks will be really good for my hips some kind of skiing machine contraption. I am looking really, really, really forward to seeing this machine. NOT!! The fat girl is trembling yet again in her shoes but I love a challenge and I will challenge myself every day to go further and further every time I go to the gym. I don’t like to set goals but I am going to set a goal to attend the YMCA at least 3 days a week starting out and increase as my hips adjust.
I will have my last appt next Monday with my nutritionist and I am so excited. Wednesday will also be my last therapy meeting. I looking forward to the process moving along. Hopefully I will not have to wait long for rest of the process.
I also have concerns about losing my hair, it is one of the side effect from having the RNY gastric bypass. I am natural and it has taken me years to get to this length. I do not want to lose any of my hair. So I am thinking whether to get it dreaded or sister locks. It I get either of these style I will not have to comb or manipulate my hair and hopefully this will prevent the hair loss.
I am on blood pressure pills Exforge and was really disappointed when I went to pick my medicine up and the cost was $181.00 without my insurance with my insurance it dropped down to 131.00. The doctor then gave me a card which enable me to get them for $4.00. No such luck the card for whatever reason did not work and it only brought them down to 81.00. I contacted my doctor and had him to change my prescription. I am not looking forward to picking them up tomorrow because of the previous problems. In the last couple of weeks I have heard several people complaining about insurances not covering medicines that it would previously cover. One have to wonder do it even matter if you got healthcare insurance anymore. Especially since I am cover by my insurance and my hubby also. I will be so happy when I can throw all my medicines away for good.
The husband and I had THAT conversation last night. I know you are looking at the computer screen and are wondering what the heck is this woman talking about. You know the conversation I am talking about…My sexy man said “You are going to lose all that weight and you are going to leave me. Men will be hitting on you left and right after you drop that weight.” I had to stop right there for a minute because I was trying to figure out who he was talking about. Surely not me because the last thing I ever had were men beating down my door. I had occasion knocks or kick back in the day before I met the hubby. But let’s be truthful I have never been Beyoncé, maybe Missy Elliott but never Beyoncé.
I mean I was really surprised that we even had that conversation at all. I have read about how weight loss can affect your marriage in blogs or research articles, we even discuss it in our therapy group. But I never thought I would ever hear it from my husband. Even though he was kidding when he said it, I still had to reflect on it for a minute. Because usually when he is kidding about something it usually means he is concern about it.
Therefore, you do have to wonder about the spouses/significant others and what they are going through. Because we the patient go through therapy to prepare our mind and body. But what about the spouses, how do they prepare for the spouses/significant others weight loss. Maybe there is a need for a counseling group for the spouses/significant others so they can handle the weight loss or any other issues they may go through.
Nevertheless I causally reminded him that he was the love of my life time and no weight loss or weight gain can ever separate the two of us. I told him after twenty-two years you actually believe I would leave you just because I lost weight. I reminded him that our love is deeper than any fat layer.
However…………….…if Morris Chestnut is reading this blog and he thinks I am beautiful chocolate drop or Will Smith wants to get a little dark chocolate in his life. Hit me up!!
Sometimes it feels like I am climbing an uphill battle no matter how hard I try, it just seems like I will take a few steps back…..after moving ahead. I know that these are changes I have to make and it will help me be even more successful after the surgery. Nevertheless walking a straight line is really hard.
During these last few months I have been able to figure out where I have the most difficulty maintaining this healthy lifestyle. It is usually when I go out in the community then the temptations seems to creep upon me really hard. I also have problems with eating unhealthy at night. When I go out anywhere it seems that my little friends on my shoulders return and they are bickering like crazy. The healthy one whom I have name Monique and unhealthy one who I call Steevie are both telling me what I can and cannot do. I refused to let Steevie win even though he is very convincing. He will count calories for me and tell me it will not hurt just to eat that one cheeseburger with a large fry, while Monique will remind me that I am not even hungry and to stay focus on my game plan. Even though Monique and Steevie are make-believe, this is a real scenario for me. These are choices that I will have to make for the rest of my life. However I can tell you this………I have gotten smarter to help with these temptations I have started to bring an apple and proteins shake with me to help with these craving. If I do want something, I will have something to eat. I also refuse to buy any unhealthy foods when I go grocery shopping. If it is not in the house I cannot eat it. Temptation is a bi***. Those late night craving can do me in. I am also working on my own healthy version of some of the restaurant items I like.
Another thing I have to work on is going to bed earlier. I usually go to bed around 12:30 or 1:00 a.m. Now if I ate dinner around 6:00 p.m. by 12:00 am I am going to be hungry. By going to bed earlier I can help with this and it will also help me get the rest I need for the next day anyway. I also read somewhere that lack of sleep is also connected with obesity so it will also help with my weight loss.
I have been reading a lot of blog posts and they are really helping me prepare for this transition. I love listening to all the people who have traveled this road such as my sister and all my fellow bloggers. I would also like to mention one blogger who has been writing some great posts for us newbies he is definitely worth checking out http://nccheesehead.wordpress.com/. Nevertheless say a prayer for me that I will stay focus and keep my eye on the prize a healthier me with functioning hips.
Sometimes it is so hard to deal with people who are just plain out nasty. When you are around people who are always second guessing everything you do it can cause you to be stress. For example ……I know that we all have our own personal journeys when we decide to live a healthy life. There is not a list of rules that works for everybody. Everything does not work for everybody. Some people can’t stand chicken, some people love chicken. Some people love to exercise; some people hate the thought of breaking out in a sweat. The only general rule is to watch what you put in your mouth and exercise. I know for myself if I want to lose weight what really works for my body and what I need to do. But doing it and staying consisted is another thing. This is my problem and I am working on it.
With that being said…..in my life and when you are in my realm of this universal…I expect only positive interactions. I refused to let other people bad vibes break my peace and bring in any drama.
I want to also say my mouth full about giving out advice …when you are giving it out to someone who about to embark on a healthy quest whether it is by dieting or weight loss surgery. You cannot come across as a know it all or condescending. Please display your compassion. The last thing someone wants to hear is someone always throwing salt in their wounded pride. I know we all makes mistakes and nobody is perfect and we all fall off the wagon. But the key is getting back on the wagon and to keep it rolling.
I had several medical appointments this week…first I saw my nutritionist on Monday and was down 2 pounds. I only have one more appointment with her and I am done. YEA!!! I also have only two more meeting with my group and I am done.
I had my 6 month follow up visit with my hip orthopedist doctor on Monday and he did the x-rays to get a look at the problem area and he is really concerned. First thing we discussed as always is my weight and how everything is going. I let him know about the gastric bypass surgery and how the process was proceeding. Well then he drops the bomb. I needed to the have the hip replacement as soon as I lose the weight and get my BMI down. Shock the crap out of me because I wanted to wait at least 10 years dash all my dreams really quick He automatically schedule me appointment to see the surgeon two days later and I am now looking at having a left hip replacement around September or October of this year. WOW I mean really WOW, two major surgeries in one year. I am currently saving all of my sick and annual days at work.
Nevertheless I guess after having the gastric bypass surgery and my hip replacement. I can look forward to be able to do a split!! (Lol) But what I would love to do is run or go jogging. I read all the blogs about completing marathons and I am envious. When I was physically able to run, I was just to dang lazy to try and do it. Now that there is no way possible that I can run because of my hips, I want to do it so bad.
It is so cold today and the temperature is 34 degrees in my town. Because of the weather I decided to fix a hot-pot of vegetable soup. I added 2 cans of purée tomato and 1 can of diced tomato. 1 bag of frozen green beans, 1 bag of frozen okra, 1 one pound of ground turkey, one onion, 1 can of corn. I seasoned it with pepper and salt, garlic powder. Let it cook about 2 hours and it was ready.
There is just something about soup that smoove the soul. It seems to make everything better. I only worked two days this week and enjoy my time off. It was a relaxing week, until I talked to my doctor on Friday about my ultrasound. Turns out I have a fatty liver that is causing all the pain on my right side and I will be referred to a gastroenterologist. The gall bladder is fine.
Nevertheless you have to wonder did I decide to have the gastric bypass at the right time. Because I believe I did. Everybody knows that a fatty liver comes from obesity. It seems that my weight is causing all kinds of medical problems that could have been avoided if I would have kept my weight under control. I know that is beside the point now, because I am working on getting my weight under control and stable.
I have a nutritionist appointment on Monday and then I only have one more appointment left. Two more meeting with the therapy group and I will be finished with that. So I don’t have long, I just need to be patience. I have carried this weight around for 23 years I can handle a few more months.